I want to...

1) Start remembering peoples' name when I first meet them
2) Listen, Observe, show interest and take initiative to understand and get to know others
3) be more Confident, be myself, don't be a fake.
4) active in my lifestyle, read more, watch more, exercise more, listen more!!
5) Learn how to lay back, relax and be happy. Stop taking things too seriously.
6) be able to catch hint, clues about peoples' likes and dislikes
7) be willing to compromise and admit faults
8) Be bold and daring
9) Stop feeling inferior
10) study hard and score well. haha

My future

Time is always ticking pass us
Just a blink, I will be a full-blown adult
Another breath, I will be in the society like other adults
Always, thought that working is still a far thing
not to worry about or was it just an excuse not to think bout it
I dunno

They say,
Chemical engineering has a very good prospect
but, how true is it?
honestly,
i don't really have a clear define idea of what this job offers

Yetserday,
I had this chance to have dinner with some of my dad's childhood friends children
They are of similar age
All of us age between 18-25
1 of the girl among us, has been working in Singapore for almost 2 years
Getting married next year
to a Malaysian also
but they are contemplating to give up Malaysian citizenship and convert to Singaporean
I was curious and asked more

Not to my surprise,
the Singapore government give their citizen very good perks and grants
For example:
1) You can buy HDB flat at a discounted rate
2) Loan given at a very very low interest rate
3) Get a maternity leave of 4 months, while PR only get 2 months
4) Education is very much cheaper
5) PR cannot buy HDB Flat, they can only buy it from a Singaporean owner, which means you own a second hand HDB Flat
6) If you need to send your baby to a government nursery for day care, a Singaporean pays only $400, while a PR pays $1400
the list goes on....

I dunno whether I will fall for this attractive bonuses
and one day, convert to be a Singaporean
I dislike being called a Singaporean
I grew up in Malaysia
I eat mamak, street food
I eat beside a stinky longkang
I cycled, ran, played around my community
I speak Malay, Cantonese, Mandarine, Manglish, English
a little of Teochew and Hokkien
This is my life, so different from Singporeans

Abundant of unwillingness to marry a Singaporean
to become a Singaporean
But, contradictory to this
what about my family, career in the future?
I will be working in Singapore,
most probably marry sum1 and settle down in Singapore
and my children will be Singaporean,
they lost their identity as a Singaporean
they lost their childhood that is set wild and free to run on the streets
born into a rat race of plucking the As in their academic slip

on the other hand,
what has Malaysia got to offer to us, the non-bumiputras?
If we were treated equally, merit based admission into local uni,
there wouldn't be that severe brain drain in Malaysia now.
Malaysia knows how to complain about humongous brain drain problem,
but are they putting in any effort to keep its talents?
Evidently, everyone would say NO
We have no choice but to go overseas in search of a better place
a place where we can set foot
a place where we are treated equally
How we wished we could remain in Malaysia,
but it is our country who indirectly sent us to far-away-country

just my feeling

you know? after every exams, students tend to discussed what they have written in their exam sheet
and make comparison on whether their answers are correct or not
Since some time ago, I always try to avoid such conversation with friends after exams
I guess it is because I dun wan to let my emotions ruin my mood to study other subjects
if I did poorly in the exams previously

However, it is inevitable that you will hear comments, for example:
-Oh man, i dunno how i did. I have got 1-2 mistakes in my objective q. (When there are 20 MCQs)
-Arhhh, I dunno how to do q4 and q3. I wrote this(...) and that (...)
-A: eh, wat is your answer for q4.
B: oh, I have written this (abc).
A: huh?! yes meh? you c (flipping thru lecture notes), lecture notes say this.
B: Oh reli?! but u c, last time the test answer is this (def) wor...

No matter how hard I try to shun myself from these,
they are still flying everywhere through thin air
Many times, I just cant help feeling sick and tired of all these
In my heart, i mumble:
"hello?! exam is over.. just get over it and start preparing for the other paper.
and if you were to do that badly, what bout me? you guys are scoring 4.4-5.0.. and me?! 3.81!!"

i know that i feel like this is because i am a poor student
but, to me, this feeling is inevitable, I am only Human.. and I have feelings,
I will feel disgruntled, fed-up, sickening and "oh, here they go again" type of feeling
imagine putting yourself into my shoes,
if sum1 so good in his studies and comes to you saying that he doesnt noe how to do the questions,
what is the logical thinking you will think?
wouldnt it be :"huh?! you also dunno how to do ar? how much more me?"
and guess what... I am not supposed to say how i actually feel!!
So, this type of feeling has been accumulated since I enter NTU

whn i was in secondary school and KTAR,
nobody tend to discuss the answers after exams,
we would be so happy that exams are over and are ready for full-force celebration
the results doesnt really matter already
because we have tried our best.
However, in NTU, it is totally the opposite
Everyone here is so excited of what they have written.
I dont mean that there is something wrong with that
But, if you were to feel bad, sad, depressed,
apprehensive, worried, and keep on whining, complaining
when you realised that you have done some mistakes,
then why want to self-induce these type of non-beneficial negative emotions?

Resemblace?

Prof William, my Biomolecular engineering module lecturer
Since the 1st day of my lecture with him

I frequently thinks that his looks resembles Miu Kiu Wai

Coincindently, Prof William is presumed to be from Hong Kong too

This is one of my favourite actor, Miu Kiu Wai
Don't they look alike?

Ahhh.. my fluidssss..

wei wei,
i got 100/100 for fluid mechanics
really unbelievable.. : )

i hope this good chain of results will continue to disseminate to all my other subjects
Pray that I will score absolutely fantastic results for tomorrow's accounting

Accounting is tough
they always like to give you irrelevant data to trick and confuse you
provide similar data to make you doubt yourself
and a lot of tricky questions
the lecturers really do know how to grasp students' psychology also
they purposely come out with a question that you thought that it is asking "A", but actually it is asking for another thing, eg "B"

Pray that I will not get tricked and always keep a clear mind through out
God is a good Lord
He covers me with protection through out the exam
He prompt me to answer questions along the line
eventhough i totally dont even have an idea what to write
Thank God.. He truly loves me..

Exams cumin.. oh ho..

hakuna matata, means no worries..

final exam is so near
getting a bit apprehensive, stressed
fear that there isnt enough time to finish studying everything

my 3rd final exam in NTU,
and it is the third time i tell myself :" i should have started earlier"
the glad thing is, things seems to be more manageable this semester
n i hope what i feel is the reality

so, all the best to everyone.
will pray for ya

Blessed are those who trusts in the Lord

Jeremiah 17:7-8
But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord
whose confidence is in Him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that send out its roots by the stream;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruits.

hmm , Lord,
i need to be more faithful and trust in you
may my faith increase as i come to study the bible day by day
May you speak to me and open to me your wills for me
i commit all my exams and burdens into your kind loving hands
because it is there, you make miraculous things happen.
In God, I trust. Amen.

Pressure

To-Do list:
1 programming assignment--Mathematica
1 formal lab report
2 quizzes
1 presentation
all due within a week!! huhu!!

within 2 weeks, is FINAL EXAM!!

According to Le Chateliers' Principle
as pressure increases, the conversion rate of reactants to products should increase
if effort=reactants, results=products
i hope that Le Chateliers' principle applies to me as well

Wish me luck...
gonna jia you jia you

hip hip hurray

muahaha
just wanna make an announcement
ah hem (clearing throat)..
"Gloria managed to score 89 for fluid mechanics!!!!"
hahahahaa, cant believe it
seems like a miracle

hopefully it's not a biased mark by the lecturer
as the lecturer, Prof. Raymond knows me by name and person..
Haha..
wanna noe y this lecturer knows me?
It was due to a super duper embarassing moment
which happened last January

Here was the story:
Last spring,
Gloria was asked to participate in ISG (Inter School Games) due to lack of participants playing for the school
She went to the badminton court earlier for practice
as her badminton skills were extremely rusty
and was no longer applicable
There, she met this guy,
who was in his sports wear, sweaty, quite good-looking(shhh...) : )
and the common point is--they both represented the SCBE(School of Chemical and Biomolecular Engineering) for badminton game
The guy kindly lent his badminton racket to Gloria
bcos Gloria hasnt got any racket to play with.. ; )
Haha, here starts the embarassing part,
the handle of the racket had some sweat smell
After some practice with that racket,
she and the guy sat down and a conversation striked,
Guy: so, how was your practice?
Gloria: hmm, just so-so. Lost touch with badminton long time ago. You seemed to be a frequent player...
Guy: Why do you think so?
Gloria: (A long hesitation) Errrrrrrrr... because your badminton racket had some smell, which indicates you play often and hard.. (blushing)
Guy: (blushing too) oopppsss, sorry.. haha.. and yeah, i play frequently..
(conversation continues, but unrelated to this case dy)

After that, the sports director told Gloria
:" hey, do you know he is Professor Raymond? And he is goin to be your lecturer for your year 2 sem 1's fluid mechanics and year 2 sem 2's operation unit."
Gloria:" Oh My Gosh, have I just spoken to him like a friend/schoolmate? and what did i say bout his racket? i have just treated him like friend and words i used weren't supposed to be the words said to a professor..." (felt like digging a hole n dug my face into it)
Embarassingly, Prof Raymond overheard this conversation of Gloria and the Sprots Director, and gave a gleeful + a little shy smile
That was the moment, they (Gloria and Prof Raymond) got to know each other.

Sometimes, i just don't know how to be indirect in conversation
I could just have said: " It was so obvious, because you played well. (which was true)"
Haih...
But the main point of this blog is stil the 89 marks..
wahahahahhahahaa

My prayer

Dear Lord Jesus Christ
Tommorrow starts my voyage towards striving for higher skies
in terms of academic results,
Lord, you know my strengths and weaknesses
prompt me into answering the correct answer
pour down the wisdom on me..
Your blessings is all I need. Amen

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding,
in all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He wil make your path straight.

Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and you shall Succeed..

真实

这是一首我很喜欢的歌
有时候觉得情歌的歌词终是让人们以为爱情会只有甜甜蜜蜜
这首歌让人恍然觉得爱情并没有很完美
甚至，可以很残酷
相信，曾经经历痛不欲生的分手
对这首歌，深有同感


真实--张惠妹
你說的話　在我心中生了根
愛得很深　所以心會疼
記憶　在我的心中翻滾
是不是每一個人　都像我一樣笨

只怕再問　對彼此都太殘忍
我能感覺　另外一個人
我等　等笑容換成淚痕
愛在崩潰的時候　比較真

太多疑問　知道答案又如何
原來容忍不需要天份　只要愛錯一個人

心痛比快樂更真實　愛為何這樣的諷刺
我忘了這是第幾次　一見你就無法堅持
孤獨比擁抱更真實　愛讓人失去了理智
會不會是我太自私　拒絕更寂寞的日子
放不開　也看不見未來
難道這種不完美　才是愛情真實的樣子


所以，倘若你已找到你心中的那一个
请珍惜现在的她/他

Reminiscing my younger days

School days has zoomed by
another 3 years, i would officially be a young working adult
Uni life is exhilarating and busy at the same time
this is the little time i can squeeze out to update my blog

Had spent the whole night doing mathematica
while keeping the the computer running
the FM is tuned on to 95.0 where they play the oldies
a song called These Dream--Heart (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LLaeRUsWr0)
brought me down to memory lane,
to the years when i was 5-7 years old

I remember
my dad used to tune into radio that play all these songs
of age, but everygreen, ever soothing to the ears
thses songs are like wine,
as they grow older, their value appreciates
these songs was recoreded in my mind sub-consciously
i can even hum the melody
mumble some lyrics in between
eventhough i hv never seen the lyrics before

I remember
how blessed i was to have my grandma come to visit me every 2-3 days
she brought sweets, bubble gum, lollipops
which my dad strongly forbids
She always leaves her hankerchief behind, because it used to got stucked in between the sofa
Occasionally, she will give me some pocket money, around RM2

I remember
grandma asked me, which is my favourite kuih
without hesitation, i told her is the "pink kuih" (teow chew kueh)
she puzzled, thinking "wat pink kuih"
at that time, i cant speak much chinese
she cant understand much english
to further describe, i told her
"neh, inside got rice 1, outside pink colour, triangle in shape"
She laughed...
She said making that kuih is very tedious and tough

I remember
how she taught me to remember her house number
n told me to call her when i face problems
she went "call maamaa hao (house), maamaa hao number.. see--veenn(7), ate(8), waaann(1), ate(8), ggg--row(0), ate(8), seekk(6)"
and i repeated after her
from then, i hv never forgotten the house number
unfortunately, the house is stil there
but mama is no longer there

I remember
there was once, i envied my frens having 38 crayons in a box
i dared not asked my dad to get me 1
n one very fine afternoon, just b4 boarding the skul bus
my grandpa came
haha, i told him i wanted a box of crayons which cost RM8
which is a lot of money to me at that time
cos my weekly pocket money was only RM10.
He smiled and giggled, his eyes sickled
n gave me the amount of money
i put up my 2nd finger in front of mouth(silent sign) and whispered :"shhh, dun tell daddy, ya.."
n v kept promise not to tell daddy.. til today, daddy stil doesnt know
grandpa has kept his promise
He will never break his promise,
because he has joined grandma shortly after grandma stepped into heaven

Kong Kong is always the first to volunteer to chauffer me everywhere
to tuition, school
from school, piano class, lrt station
these lasted till his very last days
even my a-lvls, he was the one hu sent me through-n-fro the lrt station
he is never late
he purposely reached earlier, sometimes half an hour earlier
i always asked him not to be so early
sometimes i even tell a time much later than my exact arrival time
but many times, i stil c him standing at the lrt station waiting for me
this is how fervent and excited he is to meet his grandchildren

I miss kong kong & mama
pray that they are happy wherever they are

Today, it coincidently came from the radio stn afar
brings my memory back to childhood days
where I was so carefree, happy
everyday was just a blissful play
Play back, rewind to unwind my hussle-bussle day

Oldies:
Angle of mine--Eternal (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ts1qQ8jN8o0)
Someday--Eternal (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-04uPm9i4k&feature=related)
Alone--Heart (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxfdDrKO8uM&feature=related)
Listen To Your Heart--Roxette (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sJPUTTfNbg&feature=fvw)

At a blink

Time and tide waits for no man
How i wish i can prove this statement wrong..
Time has always left me dumbstrucked
Time has left me behind without me knowing it is slipping away from me silently
Time has tried very hard to be oblivious to me
Just at a blink, I am already a sophomore
What awaits in the near future? career? family?
It has all come too fast..
I hv always wanted to grow up, be an adult
get financially detached from the family
be independent, staying outside my roof of 20 years
However, when the time comes for me to do these long-awaited-childhood-dreams of mine
I became fearful, apprehensive of my future
All along,
I have been a girl of confidence about my future
At the age of 11, I knew i wanted to go Chong Hwa
before secondary school, I have already decided to study in Singapore
Every decision was clear, define and definite

What about now?
Sometimes I even doubt my eligibility for this course
What has thrown me to this sea of insecurity, vague vision of my future?
Guess, as a child, I hv been over-protected
not given the full freedom to run around
not that i am blaming my parents
I understand that KL is too dangerous for a child to run around carefree
Thus, there is this boiling urge to catalyse my growing up
aiming to achieve freedom
Unfortunately, everything comes with a price to be paid
you want freedom, but you have to earn it..
Freedom is attained when you are fully financial capable and stable
How is that easily achievable?
I feel like a coward now
A person afraid of the society's cruelity
Dunno how the society looks like?
Is it really hard to find a friend?
Back-stabbing is common? Betrayal is everywhere?

Sometimes,
I still feel like running into my mum's chest for a warm hug
very childish, huh?!
But it is so comfortable, like as if you will never be harmed
eventhough i am already taller than my mum
but everytime i dig into her arms
I feel like I am a baby being fully protected and armed by the hands of mother..
Maybe, this is why they say Mother's love is great..
words can be omitted
emotions speaks it all

Love Songs

I have wanted to write about this topic about a month ago
i happened to be following ONE.fm one fine morning
and the subject was about----" Songs you want n do not wish to listen in your wedding march"

hehe
so, the traditional, all-time favourite "wedding march" by Mendelssohn has become obselete
actually, i would like to listen to mad--Neyo or 1234--Plain white T's
they are really romantic
not those conservative romance of candle-lit dinner, grand march down the aisle etc.

For Mad--Neyo
it shows how much the guy wanted the girl to be happy n avoid arguements
when two ppl come tgt, disputes are inevitable
but, can we not go to bed being mad at each other?
can the girl not cry for nothing?
but, baby, can v make up?
if the girl is still mad, the guy can't sleep through the pain seeing his loved heartache
Mad's lyrics just fits all marriages

while, 1234--Plain White T
it makes love so easy, as easy as "I love You"
sometimes, just 3 words says it all
no need for elaboration, no need for flattery words, no need thousands of promises
a sincere "I Love you" holds all that is needed
no matter how bad your day has been,
Love can piece you back all together...
no matter how plain, ordinary, your love one is
he is still a special gem in your eyes...
Love is just so simple
It is when one starts to fall out of love, then complication occurs

Love rejuvenates the soul
makes you feel complete
Love makes you go out of the way to serve someone
and in the end of the day, u stil find it worth while
Love protects everything
you feel secure, cared, cherished
even if the world falls, you stil hv a chest, a wide spread arm to run into

Attached is the two songs, with it's lyrics
Feel the beat, imagine you are loved, sense the atmosphere
tinkle every nerve in you, may the lyrics touch those who are in love
"Mad--Neyo" --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4nM2gTAeTg&feature=related
"1234--Plain White T" --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ShoXm6MVYM

throw him off my mind

guess what?

i found many flaws in him (hmm.. but nobody is perfect la)

n i hv made a firm decision to throw him out of my mind

he is 

-childish

-inconsiderate

-aint gentleman

-overly goal-orientated

-can be on an emotional ride sometimes

so, there is practically nothing for me to fall-in-crush, right? (convince me wif this statement, pls)

maybe it is the spur of the moment good characteristics fr him i saw that i like

so, is the characteristics i like, not the person

should count my blessing for not falling-in-crush

muahaha...

3 cheers n 3 cheers n 3 cheers for being crush-free now

hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray

Panoramic view of Singapore city centre

this is Clarke Quay

pls pronounce it as "clerk key".. 

many ppl tend to pronounce it wrongly initially

these ppl includes me.. haha

a place where is filled with romance in the night light

famous tourist destination

has bistro, clubs, pubs, shopping malls that opens only in the evening to late night

hmm.. okay, this is S'pore River, i think... hehe, not sure..

and the building is a police station

a very colourful building

each 2 rows of windows is painted in different colours

very interesting building

This was taken from Fort Canning park

from a hill and a distant

beautiful view

the city, incorporated with green

the shorter buildings are at Riverside

the brown colour building is Somerset Hotel

what i like most bout this picture, is the sky, the layers.. 

ohh.. fascinating..

The 2 pictures above are taken inside Fort Canning park

shady, with breeze...

SMU--Singapore Management University

a city campus, without hostel

modernize building

traditional catholic church

reminds me of Hunchback of Notre Dame

i actually wish to get married in such church.. haha

shhh...

hehe... i actually dunno where is this

just snapped pictures panaromic to my eyes..

Ferris wheel ar... 

KL frens, rmb v said wanna take the "Eye on Malaysia" in Titiwangsa...

Tugu Peringatan Bagi Mangsa Awam Pemerintahan Jepun 1942-1945

Fountain in some park in the city centre

hehe, this looks similar to one of our pictures in Sejarah textbook

neh, where in KL, near masjid jamek there

2 rivers converge into one..

anybody can recall??

Construction going on

clean river water flows

bridge that links ppl from all part of the city

The Fullerton Hotel

Authentic and majestic

standing beside Singapore River

guess what? I saw a Ferrari, Mercedes sports car n Lamborghini(if i am not wrong)

parked in front of the hotels

rich, wealthy tycoons

The above pictures are actually the same area

just took the photos from dif angles n places

Hope 1 day I can be spending happy moments with you all

in this place

This is their pub

not those cheap-skate pub u all sea

here, decent ppl come to have a drink and catch up

Very comfortable chairs

looking towards the river makes you feel like it can drain all your burdens you hv locked in your heart

Clean river water flow n cleanse you worry

The motor boat is to take tourist along the riverside

having an eye-experiece on the city centre view

A closer capture of the police station

see the windows in different colours...

nice + creative

Metal forest

I love the sky...

The 4 white construction-like pillar on the right of the pic are poles which holds a capsule

the capsule can fit 6-8 ppl

the capsule is ataached onto an elastic rubber thick string

thn they pull the string mechanically

finally, release the tension

puff!!! you are thrown high up into the sky

next thing... "aaaarrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

is what u will hear 

my remaining days in Kampar

carved uni name on the stone indicating the entrance of UTAR
on my way back after having attended some workshops
manage to capture this photo of this man
i guessed he retired and enjoying his golden age with his hobby, fishing
life has treated him good, i guess
very quiet, calm lake


cumulonimbus clouds
indicative of thunderstorm conditions


Dao Dao
Miin's toiletmate's toy poddle
this little bitch manage to capture her little prey
she is very cute n agile
pathetically, she has this plastic trumpet around her neck
as to prevent her from scratching he bruised neck


very friendly to strangers
very diff from other dogs, i hv never hear her bark
haha

1st day in Kampar

5pm, i remembered

clear clouds at 1 side of the sky

gradient colour of blue to yellow

however, colours changing hue

dark heavy clouds started to clot the evening sunlight

in UTAR, most roads has a bicycle lane along the road

those house facing us, r called "Oxford"

try to spot Shaeu Miin... haha : )

We parked our bike for a stroll in the park

hoping there wouldn't be any down pour with our fingers crossed
very peaceful scenery, huh?

walk along this pavement,

u will reach UTAR campus

most people here cycle to skul...

lotus

n deep in the mud, is our lotus-root..

i only know that whn Miin told me

haiz... love lotus-root soup so much, but dun even noe where it originated from

haha

some parts stil under construction

to accommodate more students

foresee Kampar to be a vibrant place in the near future

take a deep breath

this view sets my mind to wander far away

close my eyes, imagine...

let the breeze bring my best wishes n feelings to...

it consumed all my feelings

Stop fantasising!! come back to reality!!

hv always like bamboo,

especially drawing it using chinese caligraphy

hmm.. i miss how i used to draw it when i was 13-14

drizzles set us back to Miin's house

yet, the sky remained beautiful

as though holding back its tears

waiting for us to reach home safely

before scattering huge rain drops

layered clouds in maroon haze

hope shines thru to those who gaze

set my heart ablaze

may my future be embraced

My journey up to Kampar

It was 7:45am

v(my parents n i) departed our house.

The sun beam was cheerful,

perhaps indicating a wonderful, memorable trip?

oopppsss, this is Old Klang Road.

and a very frequent scene in all KL roads... TRAFFIC JAM..

Arghh...

That is my dad's patient hand controlling the steering wheel..

At 8:30, arrival at KL Sentral.

See the heavy human traffic at the escalator goin up to the KL Sentral Putra LRT?

The ppl v r seeing here, near to us, r those taking KTM(Keretapi Tanah Melayu) via

KL Sentral--Ipoh route to their individual destination

The guy with a turban and his wife were the passengers who sat in front of me in the train..

Oh yeah, my train departs at 9am,

but bcos v hv to alight the train 30 mins b4 departure

the limited time made my parents packed McDonald's breakfast

as that morning's stomach filler.

Yummy... Sausage McMuffin...

(think McD should pay me some advertising fees for giving good comment on their product)

; )

En routed some small town..

I think this is somewhere near Sungai Buloh


Another small town..
Typical rumah papan...
relaxing scenary
should be in Tanjung Malim...



I finally reached my destination--Kampar..
see the reflection of the girl wearing black? That is me..
n this is KTM train.. quite laid back, huh?!


A better view of Kampar railway station.
No hussle-bussle, relaxed walking pace
there is no way u can find this phenomena in Singapore...


A photo taken from the railway station
Panoramic view of the hilly mountain range
cloudy yet clear n bright sky
Kampar is a nice place...
An escape from KL and also Singapore...
the idea of me going back to Singapore actually haunts me.. Haiz...
rejuvenate my mind, Kampar