At a blink

Time and tide waits for no man
How i wish i can prove this statement wrong..
Time has always left me dumbstrucked
Time has left me behind without me knowing it is slipping away from me silently
Time has tried very hard to be oblivious to me
Just at a blink, I am already a sophomore
What awaits in the near future? career? family?
It has all come too fast..
I hv always wanted to grow up, be an adult
get financially detached from the family
be independent, staying outside my roof of 20 years
However, when the time comes for me to do these long-awaited-childhood-dreams of mine
I became fearful, apprehensive of my future
All along,
I have been a girl of confidence about my future
At the age of 11, I knew i wanted to go Chong Hwa
before secondary school, I have already decided to study in Singapore
Every decision was clear, define and definite

What about now?
Sometimes I even doubt my eligibility for this course
What has thrown me to this sea of insecurity, vague vision of my future?
Guess, as a child, I hv been over-protected
not given the full freedom to run around
not that i am blaming my parents
I understand that KL is too dangerous for a child to run around carefree
Thus, there is this boiling urge to catalyse my growing up
aiming to achieve freedom
Unfortunately, everything comes with a price to be paid
you want freedom, but you have to earn it..
Freedom is attained when you are fully financial capable and stable
How is that easily achievable?
I feel like a coward now
A person afraid of the society's cruelity
Dunno how the society looks like?
Is it really hard to find a friend?
Back-stabbing is common? Betrayal is everywhere?

Sometimes,
I still feel like running into my mum's chest for a warm hug
very childish, huh?!
But it is so comfortable, like as if you will never be harmed
eventhough i am already taller than my mum
but everytime i dig into her arms
I feel like I am a baby being fully protected and armed by the hands of mother..
Maybe, this is why they say Mother's love is great..
words can be omitted
emotions speaks it all