Let time be my judge

Do you remember that I once put "Let time be my judge" on msn?
and you asked me "Judge wat? Results?"
and I answered you "Nope. Results is soon, about 3weeks, but this takes probably 6 months to 1 year."

To answer your question precisely,
I need time to judge you. Yeah, judge you.
You have treated me so well,
that people in the class were gossiping,
rumours soaring every corner,
I pretend not to hear anything.
Continue to study with you when you wanted to
Continue to go out with you when you invited
Continue to have supper with you when you are dead hungry
which made me put on about 5 lbs (thx to you, huh)

You were so good, that I thought maybe you were interested
but, on the other hand, we havent known each other long
till now, it has only been 4 months
It also seems impossible for you to be interested,
because I am a malaysian (admit that!! many Singaporeans do look down on Malaysians)
because it is too good to be true
because you used to call me, but now no more/less frequent

I really need time to know who you actually are
Am I just another friend who fills in your empty time?
Am I always easily available because I am in school, that is why I am your resort (probably the last resort)?
Are you actually lonely that is why you need a companion like me?
or are you our there to play with girls' hearts?
or you think I am gullible enough to be fooled?

I am really very confused
you seemed interested at times and not interested at times
You remember every little thing I said, however you don't get my Malaysian number
You remember my dad's birthday, even when I just said it in a slight exclamation "oh, tmr's my dad's bd" when I wrote the date 29/3
You remember I would like to work in SP, when I don't even remember telling you that, because it was such a brief conversation
You remember the movies I wanted to watch, when you just manage to glance through the list of "movies must watch" in my computer
You remember I was afraid of cold
You remember I dislike McDonald's
You remember I like guitar-based songs

You would ask me if I have reached home safely, but when I am in urgent need to get to my uncle house, you said you were with your friends and can't pick me
(should I trust you, or should i take it as an excuse?)

You would inform me about an internship offer in my dream company, but you seldom tell me about your internship in Exxon
You say you would buy me a CD as my birthday present, I am flying off to Czech soon, but I have yet to receive anything from you
I caught your stares during cell group (a couple of times), and you didn't turn away.. Oh my, so I have to be the one who blush and turn away

You said I was ridiculous, when I know I was demanding n insane, but still you came and compromised to my ridiculous demand
ok ok, I am really sorry for that, but I was extremely pressurized that time;
You held my hands when I was rattling the table with my fingers, when you could actually just tell me politely to be quiet;
You brought Kinder Bueno while we study together;
You came to school to study and shared your favourite bread (some Italian bread with ham and cheese, sauce = tomato puree) from Botanical Garden;
You downloaded songs that you think I might like;
You informed me that the movie I wanted to watch is available online;
You downloaded the movie I wanted to watch into your iphone so that when I get bored studying, I can watch that movie (actually, I found that movie "The Lovely Bones" quite boring >.<);

Oh would you stop playing mind games,
I am sick of guessing
if you are interested please tell,
if not, I am gonna convince myself that you are not that wonderful after all
and continue to move on.
Honestly, I am touched by your moves sometimes,
but if we are just platonic friends, I have to know it,
so that I don't harbour false hopes.

So now, you understand why I say "let time be my judge"
because only time can reveal what you are thinking and who you are.


PS: Did u manage to get the seahorse I wanted? or do you even remember?