Life is beautiful-- Breath

How many times have we missed an opportunity to life simple pleasure, due to our hectic lifestyle, the excuse to say we are busy.

Envious with busy people, once I was
Until the day, I felt so busy that I find sustaining relationships around me tough
All I want, is to find rest.

Going home, is a time where I can rejuvenate
No matter how bad the situation is outwardly
Home makes one feels at peace, as if everything will be alright.

I always dream about myself sitting alone on an empty beach
only the sound of sea caressing the beach
the sun rising up signalling a new day
promising new hope
the gentle sea breeze telling me that if the world forsakes me, God is for me
the front wind that sweeps my fringe backwards comforting my weak soul
the natural fresh smell of sea water makes breathing soothing
and me silently speaking to God
mesmerize His awesome unfathomable creation

40 Days fast

Hey there.. Ramadhan is near
The Malays are fasting, and so am I...

Went to church 2 nights ago, prayed for the country and also different generations,
they are the children, the youths, the young working adults and also the adults.
The church is embarking on a 40 days fast
with the main purpose to pray and fast for the country

After 8 March 2008, I actually hated the newspaper
the media is flooded with overwhelming news and probably rumours about political parties, Menteri Besars, cultural/race discrimination etc
Instead of progressing to be more prosperous and cooperative
I sometimes feel Malaysians (include all races) are degressing
Racial disparity are getting wider
Conversation on cultural diversity can turn controversial (Conversation --> Controversial???)
Why can't some people just take it as a curiosity of the opposite race/religion in getting to know each other more?

OK.. Enough of complaints..
Yep, due to the immense disparity (instead of diversity) stirred by the politicians which eventually labours to intense estrangement to the minority
The church has encouraged Christians to fast and pray for the nation

Fast and pray is not an obligation of a Christian
but rather a voluntary act of submitting your physical and worldly crave to the Lord, to tame your spirit
When we fall for worldly material, we are easily lured and succumbed to temptations
Thus, by fasting, we surrender ourselves to God's strength to sustain our daily life, in short, is called God reliant.

Christians are like normal human being too
When there is a crisis, I would naturally seek my friends and family members for help
but, when everything turns vain
the last resort is God.
But, in the teaching, we are suppose to seek upon God first and trust His decision and way for us to solve the problem.
There are many occasions, when I seek God, the problem seemed to have solved itself automatically
This doesn't mean that Christians need not work and wait for blessings to fall from the sky, it just means that our strength will be renewed and rejuvenated when we come to God and be in his presence everyday

Matthew 6:16-18 declares,
"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

Tomorrow starts my 40 days fast,
determination and faith needed!!

To my friends who are non-Christian,
this is my opinion on fasting and my life with God,
no insult or despise to other religion is intended.

Let time be my judge

Do you remember that I once put "Let time be my judge" on msn?
and you asked me "Judge wat? Results?"
and I answered you "Nope. Results is soon, about 3weeks, but this takes probably 6 months to 1 year."

To answer your question precisely,
I need time to judge you. Yeah, judge you.
You have treated me so well,
that people in the class were gossiping,
rumours soaring every corner,
I pretend not to hear anything.
Continue to study with you when you wanted to
Continue to go out with you when you invited
Continue to have supper with you when you are dead hungry
which made me put on about 5 lbs (thx to you, huh)

You were so good, that I thought maybe you were interested
but, on the other hand, we havent known each other long
till now, it has only been 4 months
It also seems impossible for you to be interested,
because I am a malaysian (admit that!! many Singaporeans do look down on Malaysians)
because it is too good to be true
because you used to call me, but now no more/less frequent

I really need time to know who you actually are
Am I just another friend who fills in your empty time?
Am I always easily available because I am in school, that is why I am your resort (probably the last resort)?
Are you actually lonely that is why you need a companion like me?
or are you our there to play with girls' hearts?
or you think I am gullible enough to be fooled?

I am really very confused
you seemed interested at times and not interested at times
You remember every little thing I said, however you don't get my Malaysian number
You remember my dad's birthday, even when I just said it in a slight exclamation "oh, tmr's my dad's bd" when I wrote the date 29/3
You remember I would like to work in SP, when I don't even remember telling you that, because it was such a brief conversation
You remember the movies I wanted to watch, when you just manage to glance through the list of "movies must watch" in my computer
You remember I was afraid of cold
You remember I dislike McDonald's
You remember I like guitar-based songs

You would ask me if I have reached home safely, but when I am in urgent need to get to my uncle house, you said you were with your friends and can't pick me
(should I trust you, or should i take it as an excuse?)

You would inform me about an internship offer in my dream company, but you seldom tell me about your internship in Exxon
You say you would buy me a CD as my birthday present, I am flying off to Czech soon, but I have yet to receive anything from you
I caught your stares during cell group (a couple of times), and you didn't turn away.. Oh my, so I have to be the one who blush and turn away

You said I was ridiculous, when I know I was demanding n insane, but still you came and compromised to my ridiculous demand
ok ok, I am really sorry for that, but I was extremely pressurized that time;
You held my hands when I was rattling the table with my fingers, when you could actually just tell me politely to be quiet;
You brought Kinder Bueno while we study together;
You came to school to study and shared your favourite bread (some Italian bread with ham and cheese, sauce = tomato puree) from Botanical Garden;
You downloaded songs that you think I might like;
You informed me that the movie I wanted to watch is available online;
You downloaded the movie I wanted to watch into your iphone so that when I get bored studying, I can watch that movie (actually, I found that movie "The Lovely Bones" quite boring >.<);

Oh would you stop playing mind games,
I am sick of guessing
if you are interested please tell,
if not, I am gonna convince myself that you are not that wonderful after all
and continue to move on.
Honestly, I am touched by your moves sometimes,
but if we are just platonic friends, I have to know it,
so that I don't harbour false hopes.

So now, you understand why I say "let time be my judge"
because only time can reveal what you are thinking and who you are.


PS: Did u manage to get the seahorse I wanted? or do you even remember?

Impalpable

So abstract, yet so real
Invisible, but invincible
Impalpable, yet indented with footprints
Actions without words, left the heart melted
No wings, but drifted far

Left to afar,
images and incident imprinted vividly

Leaving soon, Coming soon,
time and tide waits for no man
opportunity given
thrown to you to make your decision
will you take the courage to hold just that moment?

Chasse each other
Occasionally hoped Mars and Venus never clashed
but if they never,
i wonder... how that time would be
still, i remain thankful for God's arrangement

1st time in Spore's cinema

Always wanted to reserve my first cinema movie for some special occasion
someone special..
Although, I didn't fulfill my dreams
However, my first experience was not in vain
In fact, I think spending my 1st time in Spore's cinema with my cell group member
is much more worth while, and I am truly satisfied and happy :)

We chatted, laughed, joked, played throughout the journey to Plaza Singapura
Thn we left one of our cell group members in Daiso
while we headed to Carrefour to get our drinks..
haha, naughty people lk us...

I enjoyed my day
Being single is fun!!!
Like what my friend said :" Enjoy while you are single.."
and, I am really living up to her quote
Well, I can multi-date and have numerous platonic guy friends
but, an Attached can't enjoy such freedom...
>.< *wink*

Obituaries

It is rather rare to have me flipping through the newspapers
Life is seemingly bored in Spore
thus, the newspaper ckeeps me entertained now

Obituaries are seen in the very last pages of the paper
Someone passed away peacefully...
Someone had their memorial, anniversaries...
All in all, the deceased are deeply missed and longed for

My thoughts brought me back to the days where my grandma n grandad had their funeral
It was so sudden for my grandma
Always expect the unexpected
Just hoped that grandma went off peacefully with no worries
I bet she has always wondered how her kids are doing
Were their business ventures successful?
Are her grandchildren doing well in school?
A thoughful and caring mum and grandma she is
I miss her deeply
If she is here, I would assure her that all of us are doing well
we are very blessed by God

Sometimes, I would think
if she knew I am studying in Singapore,
would she be beaming with smiles?!
I bet she would :)

About grandpa
He is one person who seldoms talk
strong believer in silence is golden
however, all of us know he cared
he left a huge sum of inheritance for us
He could just have spent the money is making his life more comfortable and luxurious,
yet he chose to save (typical traditional thinking),
to provide his children the best he could....

I will never forget the days he eagerly volunteered himself to chauffer me up and down from school,
the days where he bought ice-cream to treat us,
the days where he would sent the whole bunch of naughty grandchildren to the park to play..
Those were the days, that is vividly imprinted in my mind,
but will only remain as memories.

LOve knows not its own depth until seperation..
How true.. How heartaching.. Yet so real..

A true emotional fluatuater

Wow, 1 minute i can be so depressed, mundane and stressed out

the next minute, i would be singing songs, enjoying my studies etc

and it all occured aft a call from a fren and a prayer

is it God working in me, or am I just purely emotionally unstable?

Determined

I command you, in Jesus name, to flee away from my heart

The you includes: Fear, Anxiety, tiny little feelings, apprehension!!

No more of these in my heart, for I will bold and confident

My name is Faith

By faith, I trust I will do well

I am God's child, and will commit everything I do into His hands

For He will make my path straight

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength (Phillipians 4:19)

Fear no evil, for He is with me (Psalms 23:4)

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you (1 Peter 5:6-7)

遐想

好累哦。。
好多功课，好多考试，好多活动，
多到有时候都不知道自己做这么多有何意义
累得，有这么一个想法：
嫁个好丈夫不久好了吗？

你看有些人，学历不高，又不会说是很美的女人，态度，品格也不是上等的
但他们过得好幸福哦
果然是傻人有傻福

我会不会有这样的傻福啊？

Super Sunburnt

The biggest souvenir I received "gladly" from Sentosa Island!!
I have got this sun burnt due to my laziness of applying sunblock
And thanks to the hardworking sun for striking strong rays onto my skin :)

From now on, whenever I am going to expose myself under the sun for more than an hour
I WILL WILL WILL apply sunblock

It hurts even when I take bath
or move my shoulder while wearing sleeved-T-shirt.

Moisturizers won't help too..
Maybe I shall just go get something from the pharmacy to apply

Nuclear Power Plant?

Look at the above pictures

What comes into your mind?

Global Warming? Nuclear Power plant? Petroleum refinery?

Today I attended my first lecture on Heat and Mass Transfer

My lecturer commented that whenever people see this picture,

image of Nuclear power plant, rubbish incinerator, etc. would wriggle across their mind.

"Yeah, of cos, aren't they Nuclear power plant?!", i thought for a moment.

"They are wrong.", said my lecturer.

Well, I was surprised..

In actual fact, these were just merely cooling towers used in many industries.

A Cooling plant usually uses the evaporation of water to remove industrial process heat and cool the working fluid (usually a refrigerant) to a much lower temperature.

The mechanism of its function is still yet to be known to me

Maybe when I end this sem, I can give a better explanation.

N yeah, hopefully I will score an A for this subject too. *smiles*

So, don't be afraid that this cute tame gigantic building may harm your health due to their emission of CO2, global warming gases etc

The white smoke you see emitting from the big chimney are actually steam

Steam = evaporated water, H20.

No worries to these pathetic structures who has been misunderstood and hated for decades

They are big but kind and gentle :)

PS: I wrote this blog 9 days ago.. :)

Something interesting

This is a High Definition Video camera from Sony
I learnt to handle this camera with its sophisticated tripod stand yesterday in church
Well, I have joint TV ministry in church
Basically, we record every congregation/service
The video is broadcasted live via the internet
Viewers all around the globe may hit 640 million every week

City Harvest Church is apparently a very well known church
Many followers will watch us through the net
the amazing thing is,
when offering time comes,
they will also give their offering and tithe via e-banking

Next week, I will go for another session of briefing on how to operate the camera
and I need to pass a mini quiz
before I am officially serving the TV Ministry.
Wish me luck. :)


This a website of my church in spore
Welcome to explore this http://www.chc.org.sg/eng/index.php

God Bless All..

I want to...

1) Start remembering peoples' name when I first meet them
2) Listen, Observe, show interest and take initiative to understand and get to know others
3) be more Confident, be myself, don't be a fake.
4) active in my lifestyle, read more, watch more, exercise more, listen more!!
5) Learn how to lay back, relax and be happy. Stop taking things too seriously.
6) be able to catch hint, clues about peoples' likes and dislikes
7) be willing to compromise and admit faults
8) Be bold and daring
9) Stop feeling inferior
10) study hard and score well. haha

My future

Time is always ticking pass us
Just a blink, I will be a full-blown adult
Another breath, I will be in the society like other adults
Always, thought that working is still a far thing
not to worry about or was it just an excuse not to think bout it
I dunno

They say,
Chemical engineering has a very good prospect
but, how true is it?
honestly,
i don't really have a clear define idea of what this job offers

Yetserday,
I had this chance to have dinner with some of my dad's childhood friends children
They are of similar age
All of us age between 18-25
1 of the girl among us, has been working in Singapore for almost 2 years
Getting married next year
to a Malaysian also
but they are contemplating to give up Malaysian citizenship and convert to Singaporean
I was curious and asked more

Not to my surprise,
the Singapore government give their citizen very good perks and grants
For example:
1) You can buy HDB flat at a discounted rate
2) Loan given at a very very low interest rate
3) Get a maternity leave of 4 months, while PR only get 2 months
4) Education is very much cheaper
5) PR cannot buy HDB Flat, they can only buy it from a Singaporean owner, which means you own a second hand HDB Flat
6) If you need to send your baby to a government nursery for day care, a Singaporean pays only $400, while a PR pays $1400
the list goes on....

I dunno whether I will fall for this attractive bonuses
and one day, convert to be a Singaporean
I dislike being called a Singaporean
I grew up in Malaysia
I eat mamak, street food
I eat beside a stinky longkang
I cycled, ran, played around my community
I speak Malay, Cantonese, Mandarine, Manglish, English
a little of Teochew and Hokkien
This is my life, so different from Singporeans

Abundant of unwillingness to marry a Singaporean
to become a Singaporean
But, contradictory to this
what about my family, career in the future?
I will be working in Singapore,
most probably marry sum1 and settle down in Singapore
and my children will be Singaporean,
they lost their identity as a Singaporean
they lost their childhood that is set wild and free to run on the streets
born into a rat race of plucking the As in their academic slip

on the other hand,
what has Malaysia got to offer to us, the non-bumiputras?
If we were treated equally, merit based admission into local uni,
there wouldn't be that severe brain drain in Malaysia now.
Malaysia knows how to complain about humongous brain drain problem,
but are they putting in any effort to keep its talents?
Evidently, everyone would say NO
We have no choice but to go overseas in search of a better place
a place where we can set foot
a place where we are treated equally
How we wished we could remain in Malaysia,
but it is our country who indirectly sent us to far-away-country

just my feeling

you know? after every exams, students tend to discussed what they have written in their exam sheet
and make comparison on whether their answers are correct or not
Since some time ago, I always try to avoid such conversation with friends after exams
I guess it is because I dun wan to let my emotions ruin my mood to study other subjects
if I did poorly in the exams previously

However, it is inevitable that you will hear comments, for example:
-Oh man, i dunno how i did. I have got 1-2 mistakes in my objective q. (When there are 20 MCQs)
-Arhhh, I dunno how to do q4 and q3. I wrote this(...) and that (...)
-A: eh, wat is your answer for q4.
B: oh, I have written this (abc).
A: huh?! yes meh? you c (flipping thru lecture notes), lecture notes say this.
B: Oh reli?! but u c, last time the test answer is this (def) wor...

No matter how hard I try to shun myself from these,
they are still flying everywhere through thin air
Many times, I just cant help feeling sick and tired of all these
In my heart, i mumble:
"hello?! exam is over.. just get over it and start preparing for the other paper.
and if you were to do that badly, what bout me? you guys are scoring 4.4-5.0.. and me?! 3.81!!"

i know that i feel like this is because i am a poor student
but, to me, this feeling is inevitable, I am only Human.. and I have feelings,
I will feel disgruntled, fed-up, sickening and "oh, here they go again" type of feeling
imagine putting yourself into my shoes,
if sum1 so good in his studies and comes to you saying that he doesnt noe how to do the questions,
what is the logical thinking you will think?
wouldnt it be :"huh?! you also dunno how to do ar? how much more me?"
and guess what... I am not supposed to say how i actually feel!!
So, this type of feeling has been accumulated since I enter NTU

whn i was in secondary school and KTAR,
nobody tend to discuss the answers after exams,
we would be so happy that exams are over and are ready for full-force celebration
the results doesnt really matter already
because we have tried our best.
However, in NTU, it is totally the opposite
Everyone here is so excited of what they have written.
I dont mean that there is something wrong with that
But, if you were to feel bad, sad, depressed,
apprehensive, worried, and keep on whining, complaining
when you realised that you have done some mistakes,
then why want to self-induce these type of non-beneficial negative emotions?

Resemblace?

Prof William, my Biomolecular engineering module lecturer
Since the 1st day of my lecture with him

I frequently thinks that his looks resembles Miu Kiu Wai

Coincindently, Prof William is presumed to be from Hong Kong too

This is one of my favourite actor, Miu Kiu Wai
Don't they look alike?

Ahhh.. my fluidssss..

wei wei,
i got 100/100 for fluid mechanics
really unbelievable.. : )

i hope this good chain of results will continue to disseminate to all my other subjects
Pray that I will score absolutely fantastic results for tomorrow's accounting

Accounting is tough
they always like to give you irrelevant data to trick and confuse you
provide similar data to make you doubt yourself
and a lot of tricky questions
the lecturers really do know how to grasp students' psychology also
they purposely come out with a question that you thought that it is asking "A", but actually it is asking for another thing, eg "B"

Pray that I will not get tricked and always keep a clear mind through out
God is a good Lord
He covers me with protection through out the exam
He prompt me to answer questions along the line
eventhough i totally dont even have an idea what to write
Thank God.. He truly loves me..

Exams cumin.. oh ho..

hakuna matata, means no worries..

final exam is so near
getting a bit apprehensive, stressed
fear that there isnt enough time to finish studying everything

my 3rd final exam in NTU,
and it is the third time i tell myself :" i should have started earlier"
the glad thing is, things seems to be more manageable this semester
n i hope what i feel is the reality

so, all the best to everyone.
will pray for ya

Blessed are those who trusts in the Lord

Jeremiah 17:7-8
But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord
whose confidence is in Him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that send out its roots by the stream;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruits.

hmm , Lord,
i need to be more faithful and trust in you
may my faith increase as i come to study the bible day by day
May you speak to me and open to me your wills for me
i commit all my exams and burdens into your kind loving hands
because it is there, you make miraculous things happen.
In God, I trust. Amen.