oh my gosh..it's already october

dreamy me... looking at the time n date on my fon
n it woke me up...
guess wat! it is already october
fr may, when i sat for a-levels
to july where i goyang kaki everyday n leart driving
to august when i got my a-lvl results n got admitted to NTU
to september where i finally got a recess week to return to my couch in kl
n NOW... OCTOBER... wat lies ahead?
all i can see is EXAM.. exam... n EXAMS...
wat a life?!

oh time flies...
i sometimes wish it goes faster
cos i await the day where i can say "i am a fourth year student."
n very quickly, i wil get a chance to say "i graduated frm (preferably) 1st class or 2nd upper)

when i went back to m'sia..
the unlucky me, missed my bus back to bangsar
i had no choice left but to buy another ticket to go back to bandar utama
n tat cost me $33...
stupid company... dun wan to refund for me..
i tried calling the company numerous time at 7am...
wanted to tell them i wil be bout 10mins late
huh... i called 2 lines.. but no1 picked up the fon.
hello?! if u r not picking up d fon.. y buy n make a line for ur fon?
u make ppl miss their bus n got scolded fr their parents
arghh. stil very angry bout the incident!!!

taking the bandar utama bus back
i got to know another fren fr ntu's accounting skul
erm... luckily i stil remember his name
better write in my blog b4 i 4get.. his name is wei huang
v chat all the way back
n luckily he was there to cheer me up
haha
aft reaching kl, reality strikes when i see my dad's face
i know thunderstorm is coming in no time
as usual... got scolding+lecturing
haiz... all bcos of tat bus...

back in kl... everyday was spent with frens
i went to my kong kong's hse too
sadly, he is growing thinner n thinner
n he was alr taking morphine... he is reli suffering
sometimes i understand him... he is those type where cant tolerate pain well, unlike my grandma
n having pancreatic cancer,
as the doctor predict, the end stage would be painful
n at such an advanced age, goin thru chemo or radio therapy is a waste of time, money n effort
bcos chemo will disrupt his immune system n most probably make his life shorter
i can feel he reli missed me while i was in singapore

everyone said tat i have slimmed down a lot
my face is sharp in a bit sunken
when i weigh myself on my weighing machine
haha... i lost at least 5 pounds..
actually, i dunno whether is it a gud or a bad news?
if it is gud, it is bcos i have lost weight
if it is bad, it is bcos i am too thin n look maybe unhealthy n wilt

then, every nite i went out with my frens..
went for movie.. yam cha session
there r two very important things that time din allow me to do
1. go for karaoke session
2. have breakfast with my best fren
haiz... sry la, miin
when i go back in december la...
i noe u would b working, but v could have brkfast as early as 7am
n tat time it would b only me n u,
cos other ppl wil be stil fast n sound asleep at tat time

haha... something happened...
zi hau n sook fei r tgt alr
finally...
wish them well

argh.. as i said time flies..
it was time to go back to singapore AGAIN
actually i weeped on the way to airport
when i think bout sg, all i can see is stress, tutorials, lectures that i fail to understand, exams...
sometimes, i do reli feel like giving up
every1 says i nid time to adjust to life in foreign country, university way of having lectures, the pressure in sg uni
but... wat if i nvr get to adjust myself to this skul's frequency..
i am afraid...
finally, on tat nite, i broke down..
i called my fren to my room...
n when i haven even got the time to open my mouth
teardrops fell uncontrollably.. i couldnt control my emotion
i just felt like the whole world is on my shoulders
i carry a burden that i could take no more..
aft releasing all the stress...
thx to my fren for being there, i regain strength to continue

i am just like that...
i am like a pressure filling bottle..
one day, when my bottle gets full, all the pressure will overflow in tear form
n then the bottle will b close to empty again
fr there... i regain perseverence, endurance, strength, motivation to strive for higher acheivements
this is me.. when i cry, doesnt mean i wanna give up..
it's just that i have to release some bad feeling, emotions, pressure fr my ownself

since monday would be mass balance exam,
i started studying this subject fr thursday..
monday came.. i think the questions werent too baffling
stil got some idea on how to solve it
just tat unsure of whether the ides is correct or wrong
hope everythong goes well
i know i have made a very stupid n careless mistake
there is a flowrate i counted as 2630.6, but i written it as 2630 in my exam sheet only
thus, the follownig eqn that nid to substitute this ans to get other values,
the values r deviated fr the actual value
dunno whether prof xu rong will take the whole question as wrong a not...
pray that error will be carried forward la
like a-lvl...

since the starting of skul again
i have been suffering fr different kinds of pain each day
yesterday was menstrual pain...
then today was a terrible headache..
this headache made me ponteng my energy balance class...
my 1st time skipping class...
it's sooooo not me
hahaha
i think that's enuf of pain
better get well soon...
wanna concentrate in class

another 1 month would b the semster exam alr..
the exam which determines whether u r 1st class, 2nd upper, 2nd lower... or failed
aikss... got to reli put in effort lo
pray pray pray..
pray for strength, wisdom, perseverence, trust, confidence

god bless


phillipians 4:6,7,9
do not be anxious in anything
but in everything, by prayer and petition
with thanksgiving
present your request to God

and the peace of God
which transcends all understanding
will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus

whatever you have learned or receive from me
or seen in me, put it into practice
and the God of peace will be with you