written on my coach

现在已经是12:13pm了
停在pagoh rest area， 要继续下新加坡的下半路程了
心里有种不明的感觉，从昨天早上到现在，此感觉还残留在我内心深处
不想到新加坡，不要下星期的到来
下星期，我要忙坏了，有两份考试（而且是难和很重credit的课目），星期五还得交assignment. 这assignment,我到现在还没有开始准备。我负责写所有bruchure里所要的内容，另外一个朋友负责设计，另外一个男性朋友负责写这brochure与effective communication 有何关系。。
还有，礼拜一要交实验报告，这报告我只做了大概二分之一。。
今天回去就得赶完一切下星期要交的东西。。 想到这一切，谁会想回新加坡咧？！
那边的生活很累，没有亲亲戚。。唯能让我持续在那边的理由是有着一般蛮不错的朋友

最近自己的身体也不知怎么了，每次吃完饭会想睡觉，之前没有这种状况出现过，昨天上网找有关我这种状况的原因。。
其中，有一个听到好像蛮符合我身子的情况，it says that a person with hypoglycaemia will experience sleepiness/drowsiness after a meal, bcos their blood glucose shoots up.. thn hypoglycaemia can also be caused by gastric… hmm, quite applicable to my condition, right?!
So, I have been having gastric problems since form3, when I was diagnose with low blood sugar, I was also in form 3, n now I have this annoying sleepiness after meal…. Arghhh, try not to eat too much to avoid sleepiness, but at the same time, I cant do that bcos I am hvin gastric, so afraid that hunger will cause gastric pain. haiz… miserable!!! Annoying!!!

In the bus now, cant fall asleep either… yesterday night didn’t sleep well too, once I fall asleep, I will dream of all the chemical structures.. All thanks to organic chemistry!!! Kept twisting and turning just to find a comfortable position to sleep, but to no avail… what’s wrong with me? I cant sleep when it is time to sleep, but feel like dozing off when it is definitely not time to sleep… give me a reason!!!!

It’s 12:32pm, reaching Singapore in another 1 hour… siens… somebody come n rescue me pls!!

today

read a message fr miin fr yao's fon
not surprisingly, miin is complaining, cos i din look for her
haiz.. thn msn h er, she also dun wan to give me a damn
maybe she is reli pissed-off
but, i wasnt feeling well these days.. all sickness, gastritis
hopefully tmr i wil b able to get a scan in HUKM
n pray that my insurance in S'pore will cover all my medical expenses if i were to search medical attention in S'pore

ystd was bz asking my uni frens bout the insurance,
one of them includes him
erm.. he called me back, n asked me hu was sick
i actually hesitated to answer him, but finally, i told him it was me
i dislike myself doing that, cos it seems as though i am seeking for sympathy
in the end, he ended the conversation with "take care of urself.. anything, give me a call, ok?!"
i felt secure, being taken care of.. u noe?! the way a girl will feel?! any1 can catch my feeling at that moment?!
erm.. but i hate it whn i had that feeling,
it is like i am so desperate for a guy.. in actual fact, i am NOT!!! honestly!!!
i just like to dwell in his care, that's all!!!
oh God.. help me not to think over board..

been back in KL for 2 days alr, had done nothing
hvn study... there r just too many things to cope
feel so suffocated
there r exams, tutorials, assignment, blah blah blah
my speed of studying has significantly drop to a very unacceptable level
i used 3 hours, just to study a chapter of organic chem, alkyl halide
n tat doesnt mean i can remember all that i hv studied
haiz... now i understand y ppl can finish their work but cannot
i am just far too slow..
but, i must have faith in myself...
believe that tortoise can also win a marathon race

today went out to sunway pyramid with them
thn sum1 said my taste for garments lk aunty wo...
devastated... although not the 1st time receiving such comments
y? y? y? am i so aunty?
y do i hv to look more mature than my age?
i cant deny the fact that i do reli care whn ppl say that i look more mature than my age
though it has been years i hv been receiving such comments
but, i stil dun seem to get immuned to it
i need to hire a personal fashion consultant!!! arghhh!!!
sien ar...

exhausted

u~la~la~.. this week is very hectic for me,
today had something lk a quiz in effective communication class
then thurday got maths exam, friday physics exam...
phew... though i had gone through 7 yrs of stint exam training, since chong hwa days
but, exams stil do terrify me a lot... especially when it comes to subject i dun reli noe
for example, maths... d only period of time i was so confident in my maths was in a-lvl
other than tat, maths usually repels me away... huhu

goin for prayer meeting every morning this week, 6:30 to 7:30am
though tiring, but, i trust the Lord that He will grant me strength n determination to continue
too bad, ystd slept at 2am ++, wasnt able to wake up at 6:00am today to go to church...
hopefully tmr will b a better day.... means i would go for prayer meeting

inthe midst of doing maths, drains all my mental power....
gotta be more hardworking...

tis weekend would be Valentine's day
haha... my skul selling roses n teddy bears...
very expensive o... $s5 per stalk... means 5 dollars for a flower...
sob sob.. nobody will be giving me... hehe...

wishing every1 happy valentines
those hu r single, it's nt a bad day aftall, u can go out wif frens n chill out
those hu r attached, i believe u guys will noe better than i do on wat to do on tat day
i hv never reli spent valentine
cos i nvr spent valentine wif my ex-bfs b4... hehe...
anyway.. nothing to be sad bout, just wait for the right 1 to come... haha
for now, my mind couldnt accomodate other things, except for academics n dancing...

today pui li came to my skul to pay me a visit
whn i saw her, i realised how much i missed her...
she took the wrong bus stop down, n pity her, had to walk along the bus route to get near my skul..
but aft tat , i stil had to look out for her...
haiz... she is reli a big dino... but growing more beautifully by the day.. haha

i just got to noe that her bf reads my blog...
haha... real nosy guy he is...

oh yeah.. time to end all my crapping
gotta resume studying : (
blessed be the day!!!

思念

这深夜，思念着我永远再也不能与他们见面的人
从小到大，他们都很疼我，我也很潇洒地对他们说我第一个薪水一定是要请他们吃好的
真的没想到。。
想到这便，我哽咽了
连请他们吃一次的机会都没有
他们离开了，不知道他们现在怎样了

麻麻，公公，我很想念你们
你们对我的好，我会永远铭记在心

Emptiness

Feeling bored and lonely in my own very small room
roommate not in,
i am not going out for dinner, i quarantined myself in d room to study
penalised myself for slacking since week2 of skul
my aunt asked me out, but i kindly rejected
all bcos i wanna study

i hate to feel tat i am a study freak
but i noe very well i am alr 1
however, i dun hv a choice, u see...
every1 here is doing very well, i am an exception
i just cant afford to score another GPA of 4.5 n below
sometimes, i just wonder
how can those ppl do well in their studies, n also hv sports, hv loads of meetings, n stil keep up wif the latest entertainment news, plus, they watch movis n TV Series
arghhh... i hv none of the latter
i dislike a person lk me now
i wanna be an all-rounder
just too bad, i am not 1 here

feeling absolutely lonely now
sob sob