got back my effective communication paper today
n i only got a B for my written passage
i felt quite bad, cos i hv never gotten such low marks for english before
evethough it is not much of ur written language but the way u organise n express the passage
but i still felt very very bad
aft tat, v frens had lunch tgt,
i was the only girl among them
upon leaving the canteen, my hand was filled, as i packed food for my other friends
he happened to be walking in front of me
i was actually hoping, in the meantime, testing him, whether will he open the door for me
to my disappointment, the ans was "he did not"
so, i used my body to push the door open
this is a very clear indication that i shouldnt put on hope in him
n uproot all my feelings
eventhough aft tat, i went n print stuff,
he offered to help me get my things..
but, overall, i still think, giving up is a better choice
making this decision (dunno whether i can do it), i felt worse
i think it was quite obvious i was in a solemn mood
v both walked tgt to the benches outsede the lecture halls,
he didnt realise anything.. clearly states that he doesnt even bother
nvm... maybe he is just not meant for me
during lecture, i cant concentrate
i tried very hard to, but i guess it is bcos of lack of sleep
i lost focus
by this time, i felt like i want to break down
but i held myself
there r just far too much pressure i can hold
i want to surrender all
i want sum1 to hear me cry, hear my voice, my inner self
but who can? i dun want to reveal my true colours to my frens
i think they will be shocked that the usually cheerful girl, suddenly turned grave
i was also actually hoping that he comes n ask me wat was goin on
but, that was a dream, a dream too far to fetch
i really want to cry...
can sum1 hear my voice?
i am really pressured, i noe every1 does hv pressure
but for 2day, i am overloaded
who can wipe my tears?
who can lend me a shoulder?
is there sum1 outside willing to come forth and understand me?
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
思念，挂念，想念
此时此刻，很想打通电话给我一个在金宝的朋友
老实说，我没有真正关心她，不知，他最近如何了
突然，就诊的很想念她
她现在在做什么呢？是否跟我一样，为了一堆似乎永远都做不完的课业和作业
很累。。自从开学，每天都很累，平均一天睡五个小时
这种生活已经变成了习惯
知道这样子会伤害身子与健康，但是，为了课业，就真的必须这么做
毕竟，本人没有像我的大学朋友们那么聪明
晓敏，记得我们承诺过要一起考获第一学位吗？
承诺，其实 ，未必一定要办到，只要尽力完成承诺就好。
因为聆听你承诺的人，会知道你又用心的。
这个道理，在感情上也一样。
不再 相信天长地久，只要你用心爱过我，真心对待我， 那么就好了
因为，若你两者都做到，离开我的机率大概等于零。
挂念我爷爷。
今天是他的第一百天，全家人都到孝恩园去孝敬他
多希望我也可以在场
说道这边，真的有一丝伤感。
想起他对我的好，真的很想念。
终记得小时候，我的调皮，他终会一一地完成我刁蛮的要求
跟他接触最多的孙子，就是我吧。。
他载我去上课，有一年半的时间
如果，有逆光机的话，我真的会好好跟他相处，好好跟他聊天，好好学插花的技术
认真学打麻将
小时候，他还陪我玩羽毛球。。哈哈，想回去，回忆真的很美好
还记得，我经常学他拿香拜拜，有一次还不小心给他拿香擦伤我的脸
到现在，还有个疤痕
幸好，还有留下疤痕给我纪念他
思念谁呢？想他，却害怕跟他讲话
今天，他生病了，应该是感冒。。
其实，很想问他怎样，相关心他，但绝对没有这么大的胆量
一直在想他现在还好吗？会辛苦吗？
但，认识我的人，会知道我会把一切感觉，心情，关心收在心里，永远不给他知道
我今晚会为他祷告，希望他早日康复
也会祷告，他永远不知道，也不会怀疑我喜欢他。。
阿门。
老实说，我没有真正关心她，不知，他最近如何了
突然，就诊的很想念她
她现在在做什么呢？是否跟我一样，为了一堆似乎永远都做不完的课业和作业
很累。。自从开学，每天都很累，平均一天睡五个小时
这种生活已经变成了习惯
知道这样子会伤害身子与健康，但是，为了课业，就真的必须这么做
毕竟，本人没有像我的大学朋友们那么聪明
晓敏，记得我们承诺过要一起考获第一学位吗？
承诺，其实 ，未必一定要办到，只要尽力完成承诺就好。
因为聆听你承诺的人，会知道你又用心的。
这个道理，在感情上也一样。
不再 相信天长地久，只要你用心爱过我，真心对待我， 那么就好了
因为，若你两者都做到，离开我的机率大概等于零。
挂念我爷爷。
今天是他的第一百天，全家人都到孝恩园去孝敬他
多希望我也可以在场
说道这边，真的有一丝伤感。
想起他对我的好，真的很想念。
终记得小时候，我的调皮，他终会一一地完成我刁蛮的要求
跟他接触最多的孙子，就是我吧。。
他载我去上课，有一年半的时间
如果，有逆光机的话，我真的会好好跟他相处，好好跟他聊天，好好学插花的技术
认真学打麻将
小时候，他还陪我玩羽毛球。。哈哈，想回去，回忆真的很美好
还记得，我经常学他拿香拜拜，有一次还不小心给他拿香擦伤我的脸
到现在，还有个疤痕
幸好，还有留下疤痕给我纪念他
思念谁呢？想他，却害怕跟他讲话
今天，他生病了，应该是感冒。。
其实，很想问他怎样，相关心他，但绝对没有这么大的胆量
一直在想他现在还好吗？会辛苦吗？
但，认识我的人，会知道我会把一切感觉，心情，关心收在心里，永远不给他知道
我今晚会为他祷告，希望他早日康复
也会祷告，他永远不知道，也不会怀疑我喜欢他。。
阿门。
Thursday, March 5, 2009
mood
It’s no later than 1:15am of 5th of march
Haven’t really done anything much today
My computer is down, internet is not working, that’s the reason you guys have not been seeing me on msn for quite some time
Anyway, just wan to tell you people that one Indonesian Chinese of EEE in my school committed suicide on Monday, 10:15am he jumped down from our building, and ended his life on the spot. Before he grabbed his own life away, he ramp into a professor’s room and gave him a few stabs. The professor was discharged from the hospital today. Unfortunately, the Indonesian remains was cremated into ashes today. Even though he has nothing related to me, I felt deeply saddened and don’t understand what was so tough for him… he is alr a final year student, only 2 more months to go, and he is out from this dungeon. What a waste of effort aft 4 years of stint study and ends up with an entangled mind that has lead him to the roof top and gave him the huge courage to jump down. Anyway, I just want to tell u all that I actually felt sad for him and his family.
This is a hectic week for me and my course mates, having 2 major exams, 1 assignment to pass up, programming to hand in… phew.. it is Thursday twilight already, very swiftly, we would have arrived on this week’s weekend.. time just waits for no man.. how I wish I can have 72 hours a day… 48 hours, I dun think it is enough too. Yeah yeah yeah, I noe I am a greedy.
Hmm… another thing is, I found out that he is treating me quite well, and we did things within only 2 of us, eg studied together. I try not to be skeptical and doubt his feelings for me, because if I do, I am putting a trap for myself to fall for him. i want myself to stay out before I get myself badly hurt again. I will never believe what other people say until he himself confesses to me, and I wouldn’t believe my instinct and intuition.
Last week when I just reached my room aft a long journey from Malaysia, guess what!? I lost my intimate garments, my bras… arghh.. I lost two or three of them. And they are brand new, just bought during Chinese new year. They also one of the very very few good bras I have. Now, they are gone…. If I know who the culprit is, he or she will be in hot soup… I haven’t think of a way to punish them… haha… my roommate, toilet mates’ bra were all stolen b4. I strongly believe that the culprit is a guy who has psychological problem, because we girls come from different bra size and cup size, y all of our bra is stolen, if the culprit is a girl, she would nid a bra that fits her own boobs, right?
Oh.. I am freaking tired..
Just want to tell u all that I miss every1 in KL, and sumtims the one in India too… but, dun worry, I have many good frens here too.
I learnt a lesson recently. A week b4 my recess week, I took my maths exam, and I was absolutely depressed because I thought I did very badly. This affects my mood to study for the next day’s exam—physics, which I am suppose to do very well in it. That day, I came back to hostel, called my mum and cried like that’s the end of the world. Just two days ago, I got my results, it was 80/100. Oh my gosh, what a waste of tears. I could hv done very much better for physics if I knew I could get this mark. So, from now onwards, I am not goin to let any exam affect my mood to study for the exam. Besides, I am tired of comparing. I got very happy when I knew I scored 80 marks, so I want to remain happy. I know very well that if I were to ask other Malaysian frens how they scored, many of them will be very much better than me, but I am truly satisfied with my results. I dun wan other external factors to affect my happiness and simplicity of my mind.
Oh ya, yao yao, wan to tell you that Faber Drive song is very nice, eg second chance, sleepless nights, I’m with you etc.
Life is beautiful.. good night.
Haven’t really done anything much today
My computer is down, internet is not working, that’s the reason you guys have not been seeing me on msn for quite some time
Anyway, just wan to tell you people that one Indonesian Chinese of EEE in my school committed suicide on Monday, 10:15am he jumped down from our building, and ended his life on the spot. Before he grabbed his own life away, he ramp into a professor’s room and gave him a few stabs. The professor was discharged from the hospital today. Unfortunately, the Indonesian remains was cremated into ashes today. Even though he has nothing related to me, I felt deeply saddened and don’t understand what was so tough for him… he is alr a final year student, only 2 more months to go, and he is out from this dungeon. What a waste of effort aft 4 years of stint study and ends up with an entangled mind that has lead him to the roof top and gave him the huge courage to jump down. Anyway, I just want to tell u all that I actually felt sad for him and his family.
This is a hectic week for me and my course mates, having 2 major exams, 1 assignment to pass up, programming to hand in… phew.. it is Thursday twilight already, very swiftly, we would have arrived on this week’s weekend.. time just waits for no man.. how I wish I can have 72 hours a day… 48 hours, I dun think it is enough too. Yeah yeah yeah, I noe I am a greedy.
Hmm… another thing is, I found out that he is treating me quite well, and we did things within only 2 of us, eg studied together. I try not to be skeptical and doubt his feelings for me, because if I do, I am putting a trap for myself to fall for him. i want myself to stay out before I get myself badly hurt again. I will never believe what other people say until he himself confesses to me, and I wouldn’t believe my instinct and intuition.
Last week when I just reached my room aft a long journey from Malaysia, guess what!? I lost my intimate garments, my bras… arghh.. I lost two or three of them. And they are brand new, just bought during Chinese new year. They also one of the very very few good bras I have. Now, they are gone…. If I know who the culprit is, he or she will be in hot soup… I haven’t think of a way to punish them… haha… my roommate, toilet mates’ bra were all stolen b4. I strongly believe that the culprit is a guy who has psychological problem, because we girls come from different bra size and cup size, y all of our bra is stolen, if the culprit is a girl, she would nid a bra that fits her own boobs, right?
Oh.. I am freaking tired..
Just want to tell u all that I miss every1 in KL, and sumtims the one in India too… but, dun worry, I have many good frens here too.
I learnt a lesson recently. A week b4 my recess week, I took my maths exam, and I was absolutely depressed because I thought I did very badly. This affects my mood to study for the next day’s exam—physics, which I am suppose to do very well in it. That day, I came back to hostel, called my mum and cried like that’s the end of the world. Just two days ago, I got my results, it was 80/100. Oh my gosh, what a waste of tears. I could hv done very much better for physics if I knew I could get this mark. So, from now onwards, I am not goin to let any exam affect my mood to study for the exam. Besides, I am tired of comparing. I got very happy when I knew I scored 80 marks, so I want to remain happy. I know very well that if I were to ask other Malaysian frens how they scored, many of them will be very much better than me, but I am truly satisfied with my results. I dun wan other external factors to affect my happiness and simplicity of my mind.
Oh ya, yao yao, wan to tell you that Faber Drive song is very nice, eg second chance, sleepless nights, I’m with you etc.
Life is beautiful.. good night.
Friday, February 27, 2009
written on my coach
现在已经是12:13pm了
停在pagoh rest area， 要继续下新加坡的下半路程了
心里有种不明的感觉，从昨天早上到现在，此感觉还残留在我内心深处
不想到新加坡，不要下星期的到来
下星期，我要忙坏了，有两份考试（而且是难和很重credit的课目），星期五还得交assignment. 这assignment,我到现在还没有开始准备。我负责写所有bruchure里所要的内容，另外一个朋友负责设计，另外一个男性朋友负责写这brochure与effective communication 有何关系。。
还有，礼拜一要交实验报告，这报告我只做了大概二分之一。。
今天回去就得赶完一切下星期要交的东西。。 想到这一切，谁会想回新加坡咧？！
那边的生活很累，没有亲亲戚。。唯能让我持续在那边的理由是有着一般蛮不错的朋友
最近自己的身体也不知怎么了，每次吃完饭会想睡觉，之前没有这种状况出现过，昨天上网找有关我这种状况的原因。。
其中，有一个听到好像蛮符合我身子的情况，it says that a person with hypoglycaemia will experience sleepiness/drowsiness after a meal, bcos their blood glucose shoots up.. thn hypoglycaemia can also be caused by gastric… hmm, quite applicable to my condition, right?!
So, I have been having gastric problems since form3, when I was diagnose with low blood sugar, I was also in form 3, n now I have this annoying sleepiness after meal…. Arghhh, try not to eat too much to avoid sleepiness, but at the same time, I cant do that bcos I am hvin gastric, so afraid that hunger will cause gastric pain. haiz… miserable!!! Annoying!!!
In the bus now, cant fall asleep either… yesterday night didn’t sleep well too, once I fall asleep, I will dream of all the chemical structures.. All thanks to organic chemistry!!! Kept twisting and turning just to find a comfortable position to sleep, but to no avail… what’s wrong with me? I cant sleep when it is time to sleep, but feel like dozing off when it is definitely not time to sleep… give me a reason!!!!
It’s 12:32pm, reaching Singapore in another 1 hour… siens… somebody come n rescue me pls!!
停在pagoh rest area， 要继续下新加坡的下半路程了
心里有种不明的感觉，从昨天早上到现在，此感觉还残留在我内心深处
不想到新加坡，不要下星期的到来
下星期，我要忙坏了，有两份考试（而且是难和很重credit的课目），星期五还得交assignment. 这assignment,我到现在还没有开始准备。我负责写所有bruchure里所要的内容，另外一个朋友负责设计，另外一个男性朋友负责写这brochure与effective communication 有何关系。。
还有，礼拜一要交实验报告，这报告我只做了大概二分之一。。
今天回去就得赶完一切下星期要交的东西。。 想到这一切，谁会想回新加坡咧？！
那边的生活很累，没有亲亲戚。。唯能让我持续在那边的理由是有着一般蛮不错的朋友
最近自己的身体也不知怎么了，每次吃完饭会想睡觉，之前没有这种状况出现过，昨天上网找有关我这种状况的原因。。
其中，有一个听到好像蛮符合我身子的情况，it says that a person with hypoglycaemia will experience sleepiness/drowsiness after a meal, bcos their blood glucose shoots up.. thn hypoglycaemia can also be caused by gastric… hmm, quite applicable to my condition, right?!
So, I have been having gastric problems since form3, when I was diagnose with low blood sugar, I was also in form 3, n now I have this annoying sleepiness after meal…. Arghhh, try not to eat too much to avoid sleepiness, but at the same time, I cant do that bcos I am hvin gastric, so afraid that hunger will cause gastric pain. haiz… miserable!!! Annoying!!!
In the bus now, cant fall asleep either… yesterday night didn’t sleep well too, once I fall asleep, I will dream of all the chemical structures.. All thanks to organic chemistry!!! Kept twisting and turning just to find a comfortable position to sleep, but to no avail… what’s wrong with me? I cant sleep when it is time to sleep, but feel like dozing off when it is definitely not time to sleep… give me a reason!!!!
It’s 12:32pm, reaching Singapore in another 1 hour… siens… somebody come n rescue me pls!!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
today
read a message fr miin fr yao's fon
not surprisingly, miin is complaining, cos i din look for her
haiz.. thn msn h er, she also dun wan to give me a damn
maybe she is reli pissed-off
but, i wasnt feeling well these days.. all sickness, gastritis
hopefully tmr i wil b able to get a scan in HUKM
n pray that my insurance in S'pore will cover all my medical expenses if i were to search medical attention in S'pore
ystd was bz asking my uni frens bout the insurance,
one of them includes him
erm.. he called me back, n asked me hu was sick
i actually hesitated to answer him, but finally, i told him it was me
i dislike myself doing that, cos it seems as though i am seeking for sympathy
in the end, he ended the conversation with "take care of urself.. anything, give me a call, ok?!"
i felt secure, being taken care of.. u noe?! the way a girl will feel?! any1 can catch my feeling at that moment?!
erm.. but i hate it whn i had that feeling,
it is like i am so desperate for a guy.. in actual fact, i am NOT!!! honestly!!!
i just like to dwell in his care, that's all!!!
oh God.. help me not to think over board..
been back in KL for 2 days alr, had done nothing
hvn study... there r just too many things to cope
feel so suffocated
there r exams, tutorials, assignment, blah blah blah
my speed of studying has significantly drop to a very unacceptable level
i used 3 hours, just to study a chapter of organic chem, alkyl halide
n tat doesnt mean i can remember all that i hv studied
haiz... now i understand y ppl can finish their work but cannot
i am just far too slow..
but, i must have faith in myself...
believe that tortoise can also win a marathon race
today went out to sunway pyramid with them
thn sum1 said my taste for garments lk aunty wo...
devastated... although not the 1st time receiving such comments
y? y? y? am i so aunty?
y do i hv to look more mature than my age?
i cant deny the fact that i do reli care whn ppl say that i look more mature than my age
though it has been years i hv been receiving such comments
but, i stil dun seem to get immuned to it
i need to hire a personal fashion consultant!!! arghhh!!!
sien ar...
not surprisingly, miin is complaining, cos i din look for her
haiz.. thn msn h er, she also dun wan to give me a damn
maybe she is reli pissed-off
but, i wasnt feeling well these days.. all sickness, gastritis
hopefully tmr i wil b able to get a scan in HUKM
n pray that my insurance in S'pore will cover all my medical expenses if i were to search medical attention in S'pore
ystd was bz asking my uni frens bout the insurance,
one of them includes him
erm.. he called me back, n asked me hu was sick
i actually hesitated to answer him, but finally, i told him it was me
i dislike myself doing that, cos it seems as though i am seeking for sympathy
in the end, he ended the conversation with "take care of urself.. anything, give me a call, ok?!"
i felt secure, being taken care of.. u noe?! the way a girl will feel?! any1 can catch my feeling at that moment?!
erm.. but i hate it whn i had that feeling,
it is like i am so desperate for a guy.. in actual fact, i am NOT!!! honestly!!!
i just like to dwell in his care, that's all!!!
oh God.. help me not to think over board..
been back in KL for 2 days alr, had done nothing
hvn study... there r just too many things to cope
feel so suffocated
there r exams, tutorials, assignment, blah blah blah
my speed of studying has significantly drop to a very unacceptable level
i used 3 hours, just to study a chapter of organic chem, alkyl halide
n tat doesnt mean i can remember all that i hv studied
haiz... now i understand y ppl can finish their work but cannot
i am just far too slow..
but, i must have faith in myself...
believe that tortoise can also win a marathon race
today went out to sunway pyramid with them
thn sum1 said my taste for garments lk aunty wo...
devastated... although not the 1st time receiving such comments
y? y? y? am i so aunty?
y do i hv to look more mature than my age?
i cant deny the fact that i do reli care whn ppl say that i look more mature than my age
though it has been years i hv been receiving such comments
but, i stil dun seem to get immuned to it
i need to hire a personal fashion consultant!!! arghhh!!!
sien ar...
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